Thursday, June 22, 2017

Sleep probs.

Sleep is not something I get a lot of these days. When you have so many days of 4 hours or less of sleep you start to go crazy. I'm talking from experience. Thankfully last night I got about 5.5 hours so I feel like a new person and I've actually had a really good day. I'm at a loss as to how to get Gracelyn to sleep better. I can't get her to sleep in a crib or pack n play. Can't get her to sleep in her room unless she's in her swing. The only small victory I have is she no longer needs to be swaddled. So there's that at least. She can't tolerate dairy at all so I have to avoid that completely. I tried to eat ice cream the other day and it completely back fired. Like bloody diaper back fired. So then there is a lot of guilt. The guilt makes you feel crazy.

It's isolating being bound to the house for nap times as well. She naps about 3 times a day. And if she doesn't sleep well during the day she'll sleep even worse at night.

I went to the doctor to see if I'm depressed. I'm not. It's just a difficult phase of life I'm in and its only temporary. Logically I know this but at 4 in the morning you feel crazy. When I'm yelling at my kid I feel crazy. When I lash out at Justin I feel crazy. See the theme? I'd love to feel normal again.

Being a mom is really lonely. But I also know I've just got to get past this hump and then life will be so much sweeter.

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