Monday, August 10, 2015

Thin.

The title of this post may make you think it will be about weight loss. It's not

I feel tired, worn, thin, stretched, translucent even. I've been taking on so much in my life and trying to control everything. Trying to control Isaac's sleep schedule, looking for a job, the household duties, meals, and even my brother's life (he and his wife are living with us currently).

Unfortunately I can't control everything. And in the process I've said, Thanks God but I've got this. You can tend to someone else. I dont need you. And boy am I wrong. I've stopped spending time with him. At the end of the day when I'm in bed saying my prayers I'm falling asleep before I can even say "Dear Lord..". I know the only way to get back to a peaceful life with hopefully more patience than I've had lately is to let everything go. My first step is to get back to making more of an effort to spend time with him. And pray about the things that concern me and let him have it. What a relief that would be. He can do a much better job than I've been doing. Its funny how before this phase I felt closer to God and felt like he was at work in my life. I got comfortable and thought I could do it on my own.

I hope that I can follow through with this.

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