Sometimes when I look at Isaac I feel like my heart will explode. I just want to watch him sleep and I will stare at the monitor for hours. I hope God never takes him early from me. That is a huge fear of mine. Same with Justin. Every time he's away and has to drive at night or after he has been hanging out with friends I always get scared. I know I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and doesn't want to see me sad and hurting but it is still a legitimate fear.
But sometimes after I watch him for awhile on the monitor I kind of hope he will wake up so that I can go snuggle him back to sleep. Even after he falls asleep in my arms I'll stare at him and just rest my cheek on his face. I cherish every moment and every breath he takes. This is the beauty of documenting our life so to speak so that I can always look back and see my thoughts and feelings and remember these moments. I never want to forget how I feel right now.