Lately I've been feeling really unsettled. Limbo and incomplete are the words I feel have been on my mind lately. I'm a little unsure where God wants me. I feel like something is missing from my life. This mostly boils down to wanting to buy a house. I'm just so unsure about whether it is a good idea to buy a house down here when our lease is up. I guess I just don't know if I want to put down roots here. At this moment it doesn't feel right. But is that because I'm mad that its so far from my family? Is it because of my desires instead of wanting what God wants? I don't know. I've been praying that God will reveal to me what he wants for me and for my family. Justin has such a great job here and I do too now. The thought of picking up and moving is also terrifying. I've done it twice already and its difficult. Do I want to do that again? I think I'm mostly just sad that I'm so far from my parents Every time I go to Tyler to visit the homey feeling I get is almost indescribable. I want it so bad. I don't feel like that when I come to my actual house. I don't know if its possible to find that somewhere else other than Tyler and moving back to Tyler isn't an option. I might be chasing a feeling that I wont be able to find. Nothing will compare to Tyler because my family wont be there so I need to accept the fact that I have to make my home somewhere other than Tyler.
I want a change and I don't know what that means but I hope that I can be quiet enough to listen and hear what God speaks to me.