Thursday, September 21, 2017

Jesus.

Jesus is for me. Jesus is with me. Yes, Lord.

Another baby?

Justin let me know that he won't feel complete with only 2 children. I understand that and I feel the same way sometimes...like am I really done? I like the idea of a larger family but when I picture it the kids are older. The baby stage is so sweet but its also SO HARD. And I'm really struggling with my patience this go around. I don't know if it would be fair to have another when the kids are small. I see people with big families and I just wonder if they spend most of their day being as frustrated and yelling as much as I do. It truly makes me feel like a failure as a mom. Like why can't I just be more chill and not freak out as often as I do. I mean, Isaac is unintentionally trying to kill Gracelyn on the daily and I just freak out. I'm scared I'm breaking his spirit. The thing that I remind myself everyday is that I have barely any memories of the 3 year old me and I'm sure my mom yelled at me some and I don't remember it.Anyway, back to more kids I don't want to wait forever either if I am going to carry another child. We have talked about the idea of foster/adopt but that's also really scary too. I can't help but wonder if I can love another child as much as my own. I just have to trust God and see what he provides for us. Maybe 2 kids is all we will have. Who knows.

Thursday, August 24, 2017

7 months

AHHH!! 7 months! Wow wow wow. You try to prepare yourself with your second child cause you know it goes by fast but dang. I can't believe how fast time is flying. Gracelyn is 7 months old. In the last month she has been sitting up and playing by herself. And has started crawling! I thought she might reach milestones sooner than Isaac but she's reaching them really fast! She's very jerky with her movements but she makes sure to practice every day, haha!


                                       Isaac wanted me to take his picture too lol
 She's been trying a lot of new foods. We are doing more of a baby led weaning approach simply because its easy for us to eat while she plays with her food. She's not a big fan of purees anyway! I've also added dairy back into my diet and she has definitely been more gassy but she just farts and is happy. I just can't overdo it!
 Wearing her is the best way to get anything done! We tried a back carry for the first time and she loved it!
I love dressing her up for church! After we got to church we realized she'd had a huge blow out diaper in the car seat so I had to change her. Womp womp. Thank the Lord for Oxyclean!

7 months has gone by so fast and our little girl is so sweet. I'm looking forward to making more memories with her

Monday, August 7, 2017

Happenings.

Wow, I can't believe we are already a week into August. Before we know it it'll be my 31st birthday, then my 10 year anniversary! We haven't been doing a whole lot lately. It's been so hot and we've actually been home a lot. I'm getting pretty ready for Isaac to start back up at his preschool. I think he's ready too. He's been so bored. Lately, he's had so much energy. And he's actually in the process of dropping his nap. On one hand he still needs it but if he takes a nap thats longer than a little catnap like 20 min then he can stay up until almost midnight! Hah, no thanks!

Gracelyn is trying to crawl. She's up on her knees rocking. Its so cute. She's growing up so fast! They both are and it makes me so sad! I find myself constantly looking at pictures and videos of Isaac. It's so easy to focus on the hard times but all I see when I look back are the good times and sweet moments that are gone.

I'm really really trying hard to be appreciative and in the moment. Because every time I blink Isaac is an inch taller and Gracelyn looks less like a baby.

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Gracelyn 6 mo update

Ah! I just realized I'm late getting Gracelyn's 6mo update on the blog.

She is doing amazing! I just love her so much! We are all pretty smitten. I feel like we have really gotten to that sweet spot. She's sitting up really well and loves to grab and play with toys. Or anything close by. She's about 16.5 lbs and in the 75th percentile. I don't really know how long she is the pediatrician we use doesn't always tell me all these little stats like Isaac's did in The Woodlands. You can read Isaac's 6 month update here. She is smiling and laughing all the time. She loves tasting food but isn't super crazy about swallowing it, haha. She'd much rather me give her a sweet potato fry to suck on over some puree. She's sleeping sooooooo much better. She wakes up 1-2 times a night but is in her bed from 6:30-7:30(ish) almost every night. She loves watching Isaac and he loves to love on her. Yesterday morning he heard her waking up on the monitor and ran as fast as he could to her room and threw open the door saying, "Hi pretty girl!" and it scared her so she started crying and then he started crying. And he said, "She's yelling at me!" it was so sad and sweet at the same time. He wants to hold her all the time and I have to watch him like a hawk because he isn't always the most gentle, haha. She sleeps in Isaac's old Zipadee-zips and I'm hoping we can get her out of them sooner than we did him!


Sunday, July 16, 2017

...

Since my last post I feel like I've done a lot better with my eating. And I've actually done a few small work outs! Baby steps, people.

This weekend my anxiety has been kinda bad. I'm really trying to get it under control. I haven't been reading my bible much and I usually fall asleep praying. Not good.

Yesterday was Justin's 31st birthday and it was kinda a bust. I dropped the ball. I got him one gift that he does love but I couldn't think of anything else. We got to have dinner alone which was also good though. He's eating healthy so we skipped the cake and I made him sugar free jello 😬 definitely not the same. And then a certain family member texted us and put a damper on the mood. So annoying. We never really recovered after that.

But my bestie is on her way to see me and I hope that helps lighten the mood a little!

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Thick Thighs.

Lately my eating is so out of hand. I'm not eating dairy but I'm making up for it with carbs and sugar. Its like every night I need to have a cookie or something after dinner. Or for a snack or just late night eating. Its awful. I feel so unhealthy. I've also had to avoid a lot of veggies that cause Gracelyn to be super gassy when I eat them. I can't eat broccoli (a staple for us), cauliflower, brussel sprouts, kale, cabbage etc. These were all sort of staples for us. I also can't have any kind of beans. So my diet is pretty boring. I've started having more starches with our meals like rice to make up for the lack of sides. I'm hoping in another month or so I'll be able to add more to my diet. I'm going to try and add back broccoli at least! The lack of veggies has me feeling sluggish. I know I need to eat better but I also feel like I need to start exercising again. Some of the dvd's and things I would have done in the past aren't going to work for me this time though. My knees seem to bother me all the time. So squats are out of the question. I have a PiYo dvd and I think I should probably get back to doing that. Or heck maybe I'll try to start going on walks by myself a couple of nights a week. I tried a yoga class a couple of weeks ago and I'd like to try going to that more often or at least the Sunday class but it wasn't much of a work out to me. I don't even think I was doing most of it right. Especially the breathing part. But it was relaxing. I just know I need to do something. I need to get up and start moving but more importantly eat better. Even as I write this I've already eaten dinner and had a cookie but I'm still thinking of what else I can eat. Its a problem for sure. I need to try and do the whole 30 again when I can have more variety of vegetables.

I'm sort of motivated. I mean, I don't like how I feel. I just need to pull the trigger.